The Dream Machine
by Bullwinkle's Lady
Summary: What if your dreams could be recorded on tape...and then shown to all your friends!
1. Part 1

**The Dream Machine**

by Bullwinkle's Lady

"Talking."

'Thinking.'

_One Screen._

In living room.

**Part 1**

**

* * *

**

"But...how?"

Naruto, Choji, Kiba, Sakura, Ino, Lee, Shino, Shikamaru, Hinata, Neji, Tenten, and Sasuke; all ranging from ages sixteen to seventeen, stared at Kakashi with blank looks upon their faces.

Kakashi sighed. He had been prepared for such a question. The jounin pulled out a pointer.

After countless charts, surveys, graphs, and diagrams, the gray-haired shinobi some how managed to explain to the twelve teenagers just how he had gotten all of their dreams of the previous night on tape.

'I have no idea what he said, but I'll pretend that I do anyway,' everyone thought.

"Aa."

"I see."

"That makes perfect sense..."

"Cool."

In a matter of moments the large group had made their way to a livingroom. _What _livingroom you ask? No one really knows. It was just a livingroom, with a large couch, a wide screen television, and warm bowls of popcorn conveniently lying around.

_Did I dream last night?_ Naruto wondered, taking a place on the couch and kicking his sandals off. Foul odors drifted across the room.

Hinata, who didn't really mind Naruto's many surprising odors, took a seat beside him. She blushed, remembering the various dreams that she'd had the previous night, and prayed that Kakashi hadn't recorded one in particular.

As Sakura sat down on the other side of the couch, the Uchiha took a seat on the ground in front of her, his back against her legs as he absently leaned on them. Both silently tried to remember the dreams that they'd had the previous night, just in case something - ah - inappropriate popped onto the screen.

_Kami, I can't believe I forgot..._ thought Sakura, biting her fingernails.

_This is a violation of privacy, _the Uchiha thought, glaring at the back of Kakashi's head.

As Neji, Tenten, and Lee stood behind the couch (what with the easy access to the exit), Shikamaru and Choji took seats on the ground close to the television screen. Ino also sat on the floor, more near the couch, and Shino brooded in a nice shadowy corner. Lastly, Kiba stood on the ceiling above the couch, while Akamaru curled up beside it.

"Ready?" asked Kakashi, smirking behind his mask.

As some responded with snake-like hisses, others released reluctant, "yeah"s. Hinata hid her face behind her fingers, and Sakura sighed, still unable to remember just what she had dreamed about the previous night.

Using all of his will power not to hop up and down, Kakashi turned off the lights. He leaned down near the television, his pointer finger shaking in excitement as it landed on the PLAY button of the VCR. "I believe the first dream is Naruto's," he muttered, as he moved to stand beside the television.

Naruto nervously chuckled, having no idea what he was about to see.

Tape:

_Ruggedly handsome Uzamaki Naruto, looking to be about twenty-five, sighed as he leaned back in his jacuzzi, hot bubbling ramen oddly substituting the water. Giggling beside him in an itty-bitty red bikini was his dear wife Haruno Sakura..._

Living room:

"Naruto!" Sakura growled, resisting the urge to leap across the couch to strangle the blonde in question.

Naruto released an awkward chuckle, making sure not to catch Sakura's eyes as he resisted his own urge to run.

As the rest of the room's occupants snickered, Sasuke's eyebrow twitched, though he couldn't quite understand why.

Back to the tape:

_In the jacuzzi, Naruto wore only orange swim trunks, and his pointy Hokage hat. "Isn't life great?" he sighed happily._

_"It really is," Sakura responded, giving him a soft kiss on the cheek._

Living room:

"YOU'RE DEAD NARUTO!" screeched Sakura, lunging at him over Hinata.

"Hey, I can't help what I think in my sleep!" Naruto responded, batting away Sakura's probing claws. Despite all of the kunoichi's screaming, Naruto couldn't help but wickedly smile, taking note of the funny hat that he wore on the screen.

Sasuke couldn't seem to stop twitching.

Tape:

_There was suddenly a knock on the office door. Yes, he had built a jacuzzi right in the middle of his office. "Come in," Naruto called, an arm draped around Sakura's shoulders._

_The door slowly creaked open to reveal a woman. An extremely small woman actually, who appeared to be only two feet tall. On closer inspection one would realize that it was Hyuuga Hinata._

Living room:

Hinata stared at herself on the screen, her white eyes wide. She was embarrassed and flattered all at once that she was in Naruto's dream...but...why was she so small in comparison to everyone else? She nipped her bottom lip, glancing at Naruto as he scratched the back of his head.

"Hey Hinata-chan...you're in my dream," he said, blinking.

Tape:

_The tiny Hinata was clutching a clip board._

_"Ah, there you are, my good assistant," Naruto muttered, Sakura still smiling under his arm._

_Hinata bowed slightly. Holding a pen to the clip board, she said something, but Naruto couldn't hear her. He beckoned her closer to the jacuzzi and asked her to repeat, but no matter how desperately he tried, he couldn't seem to make out anything but muffled sounds._

_Sakura seemed to understand fine though. "Oh yes, that's perfect for him dear. Just put it on the schedule after his meetings that day. You can go now."_

_Naruto frowned as he watched the small woman leave. "Dammit," he muttered._

_"Hey, what's wrong?" asked Sakura, her fingers twisting though his wet hair._

_"Ano...nothing," muttered Naruto, not quite knowing himself._

_There was suddenly another knock on the door._

_"Come in!" the Hokage called._

_The door again opened to reveal...Sasuke. Dressed in a butlers uniform, and carrying a silver tray with a large bowl of ramen on it._

Living room:

Everyone in the room burst into laughter.

'Something's gone terribly wrong,' Naruto thought, as Sasuke's fingers clamped around his neck.

Tape:

_"Your ramen," Sasuke muttered. Even in Naruto's dream, the Uchiha seemed dark and sinister. He walked up to Naruto and shoved the bowl in his face._

_"Ah, thank you lowly Uchiha," Naruto said pleasantly. "Good butler!"_

Living room:

As people rolled around in uncontrollable laughter, Kiba fell from the ceiling and onto everyone on the couch, Lee clutched his aching chest, and even Sakura and Hinata giggled a little. Through all the commotion, Naruto desperately tried to free his neck, for the lack of air was making the room begin to spin.

Tape:

_Naruto took a sip from the bowl of ramen (despite the fact that he was currently lounging in a tub of it). He face fell. "Sasuke, this is cold!" he said._

_Sasuke grimaced. "Gomen," he muttered insincerely. "If only I wasn't such a useless butler..."_

_"Hey, you're not useless," mentioned Sakura, tilting her head._

_"Yeah, don't be so hard on yourself," Naruto grinned. "Why don't you just get me another bowl?"_

_Sasuke scowled. "Iie," he said. "I think I'll quit."_

_Naruto's eyes widened. "What?" but even as he said this, Sasuke's body seemed to grow transparent, until he completely faded away. "Sasuke..." he muttered. "Not...again," Naruto then turned to Sakura, who's body also began to fade into nothing. The entire room went next, leaving only darkness, and a very familiar laughter._

Living room:

The room had gone silent, as people wiped tears of laughter from their eyes. Sasuke's hands dropped from Naruto's neck. He stared at the blonde who had looked down to glare at his lap. "Dobe..." the Uchiha muttered, poking Naruto in the forehead. The laughter...it had been Orochimaru's.

Naruto attempted to smile, embarrassed with what had become of his dream - or rather, nightmare. His grin was fake and bitter, and he tried to speak, but could find nothing to say. The blonde blinked when a few strands of pink hair fell in his face, long arms wrapping around his neck from behind. "We're not going anywhere," Sakura whispered, kissing the top of his head.

The three ignored the tape as it ran into Choji's dream.

Tape:

_Choji sat at a large table as he feasted upon the delicious meal set before him. The feast consisted of fried chicken, egg rolls, curry, sushi, dumplings, dango, fried rice, soba, steaks, cakes, pies, ramen, udon, and many other favorite foods of Choji's. Dish by dish, he salvaged his meals._

Living room:

Everyone groaned.

"Kami Choji, is food all that you think about?" asked Ino. Shikamaru merely sighed.

Naruto meanwhile (having finally convinced Sasuke and Sakura he was fine), drooled at the sight. "Mmm, that looks good," his stomach growled. Choji's dream was making him hungry.

Tape:

_Choji groaned and patted his bloated stomach when he finished the enormous meal. He looked up when the kitchen door suddenly opened, to reveal Ino, wearing a chef's hat, as she carried an enormous tray containing..._

Living room:

"Good god," whispered Neji.

"Is that a dog?" muttered Shikamaru.

Kiba stared with wide eyes. "That's - AKAMARU!" he screeched.

Tape:

_"Ah," said Choji. "The final course."_

_The large hairless animal was roasted like a pig, a bright red apple stuffed into its mouth. The dead dog was slightly burnt and glazed over, lying down on his front, looking...rather delicious._

_Giving Ino an appreciative nod as she set down the enormous platter, Choji broke off one of the dog's front legs and began to chow down._

Living room:

As a green looking Kiba ran out of the room covering his mouth, Akamaru hid in a corner, whimpering. Choji was bright red, attempting to melt into the ground; while the others stared in shock and horror, yet, like watching a car wreck, found themselves unable to turn away from the screen.

Tape:

_Piece by piece, Choji consumed Kiba's pet dog, occasionally adding salt or ketchup to the meat. Ino stood by the table watching him eat, a wide smile upon her face. When finally all of Akamaru had been ingested, and his bones had been sucked clean, Choji sighed and patted his stomach, before glancing up at Ino. He gave the blonde girl a thoughtful look. "I wonder how __**you **__taste."_

Living room:

As many of the shinobi fell over, many others burst into giggles, while some continued to stare at the screen with disgusted looks on their faces.

"Closet pervert!" Ino screamed at Choji, her face bright red.

Choji blushed furiously, wishing only to disappear. Shikamaru merely shook his head, giving his friend an odd look.

"Well that was...interesting," said Kakashi, disturbed, as the tape continued on to the next dream.

Tape:

_It began with a view of the road - and then a shop - and then into the woods. It was as though a person was running around, a shaking camera in their hands. It seemed that they were seeing the entire dream through another's eyes-_

_-barking noises._

_Through a dog's eyes._

Living room:

Everyone blinked, watching the odd dream.

"Kiba?" Sakura asked, as the Inuzuka trudged back into the room.

Tape:

_Through the dog's eyes, it could be seen running about, chasing cats, barking at villagers, and digging holes. The dog ran through the woods passing Neji, Tenten, and Lee as they trained. It then leapt into a pond, swimming by Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura who were sparring on top of the water. Climbing out and shaking itself off, the dog headed back to the road where Ino was yelling, Choji was snacking, and Shikamaru was cloud gazing. Lastly, the dog found a field, only to find a smiling Hinata, a grinning Kiba, and Shino - whose leg it bit down on._

Living room:

In his dark lonely corner, Shino twitched.

Tape:

_The dog continued to run about Konoha freely, chewing sticks, chasing squirrels, and sniffing bottoms._

Living room:

When Kiba's dream ended, everyone blinked.

"Well, that was...nice," said Sakura awkwardly, avoiding eye contact with Kiba who was glaring at everyone.

The dog boy shrugged. "Sometimes I wonder what it's like, that's all. Being a dog," he muttered, before glaring at Choji. "As opposed to _eating _them."

Choji looked away, his face burning.

"All right, I believe that this one is Sakura's," Kakashi mentioned, the screen going black, before opening upon a new scene.


	2. Part 2

**The Dream Machine**

by Bullwinkle's Lady

"Talking."

'Thinking.'

_One Screen._

In living room.

**Part 2**

**

* * *

**

"All right, I believe this one is Sakura's," Kakashi mentioned, the screen going black, before opening upon a new scene.

Tape:

_The two stood in front of Sakura's house, both faintly blushing._

_"That was...a really nice date," mumbled Sakura, gazing up at the Uchiha, her emerald eyes sparkling._

_"Yeah," muttered Sasuke, staring back down at her. He briefly glanced away as he muttered, "Sakura, can I...kiss you?"_

Living room:

As Sasuke stiffened, Sakura's face turned bright red. She hid it in her hands, wishing that the living nightmare would end.

As half the room released evil cackles, others like Neji simply smirked, shaking their heads. Some let out endless, "Awww"s, while a few of the shy ones blushed and glanced away, suddenly interested in the floor's carpeting.

Tape:

_After sharing a loving kiss, Sasuke and Sakura broke apart. Still blushing, the kunoichi looked down at her feet as she mumbled, "Do you want to come in...for coffee?"_

Living room:

Everyone burst into laughter, clutching their sides. Sakura wished only to fade much like she had done in Naruto's dream. An odd tic had developed upon one of Sasuke's pink-tinted cheeks. He sunk his fingernails into the rug, unconsciously clawing out carpet fibers, his stunned eyes remaining upon the television screen.

Tape:

_The Uchiha grinned evilly. "Sure."_

Living room:

"Hentai!" screeched Naruto.

Tape:

_In a tangle of limbs, the two stumbled into Sakura's apartment. They soon reached the bedroom, never once breaking the embrace._

_Sakura was dropped onto the bed as Sasuke struggled with his belt. "I've wanted this since I first met you," he muttered._

_"Take me now," whispered Sakura, ripping opened her-_

_**-click-**_

Living room:

A blue-faced Kakashi, holding the remote, stared oddly at Sakura.

The pink-haired girl, meanwhile, continued to hide her beet red face in her hands. Kakashi had turned the television off a second too late.

"_Since he first met you_...didn't you guys meet when you were eight?" an uninterested Shikamaru decided to mention.

Sasuke's complection matched Sakura's. He sat unmoving, his eyes wide, and shoulder violently twitching. It seemed that Sakura had dreamed of him. And it seemed that her dream had gotten rather...X-rated.

The room had gone silent, everyone blushing, even Shino in his dark corner.

"Woah..." whispered Naruto, after another moment. "Dream Sasuke has a HUGE-"

"SHUT UP!"

Kakashi quickly flicked the television back on.

Tape:

_One by one, clouds floated by through the endless blue sky. Some of the clouds were darker, while others seemed to swirl and move about. One could almost look like a cookie, and another was so small, that it would barely be considered a cloud..._

Living room:

For five minutes, everyone sat and stared transfixed upon the clouds (Shikamaru especially). When the dream was over, they all blinked.

"...well that dream was excruciatingly dull," mentioned Sakura.

"True. It's got nothing on yours," retorted Shikamaru, causing her to blush again.

"I believe that this one is Lee's," mentioned Kakashi, as the next dream began.

Lee hopped up and down excitedly.

Tape:

_"Ok!" said Tenten, standing behind a kitchen counter, Neji and Lee standing on either side of her. She looked down into a blender that had been filled with of ice. "What do you want in the smoothies?"_

_"Carrots," muttered Neji, glancing away indifferently._

_"Alright, carrots!" said Tenten, dropping three large carrots into the blender._

_"BROCCLI!" yelled Lee as he pounded his chest in a gorilla-like manner._

_"Of course Lee! Broccli for you," laughed Tenten as she dropped a few stocks of broccli into the blender as well. "And I think that I want strawberries!" As she added in a few strawberries, she took little notice to the odd looks that she was receiving from Neji and Lee. After covering the blender, Tenten pushed the START button, and the three friends watched in fascination as an icy brown concoction formed._

_"Alright. Dig in," said Tenten, smiling broadly as she poured the tonic into three different glasses. She, Neji, and Lee each picked up a cup and took a sip._

_As Tenten wrinkled her nose in disgust, Neji's entire body shuddered as the glass slipped from his fingers and shattered onto the counter. Lee meanwhile fell over unconscious._

_Neji and Tenten blinked. "...Lee?" they said, their voices full of care and worry. Neji's eyes grew suspiciously watery._

_"Joking!" yelled Lee, popping back up from the ground like a daisy._

_The three chuckled, as Tenten and Neji patted Lee on the back._

_"GROUP HUG!" shouted Lee._

_Still chuckling, the group shared a big, warm, and long...extremely long...group hug._

_The room suddenly turned dark as the sun literally fell from the sky. "Y'know guys," said Tenten, as she, Neji, and Lee retreated to a bedroom. She walked over to a large bed, pulling up the blankets so that Lee could climb in underneath of them. "This was the greatest day ever!"_

_"I have to disagree with you Tenten," said Lee, looking up at his dear friends. "Because I have the feeling that tomorrow will be even BETTER!"_

_Both Tenten and Neji smiled._

_"Oh Lee," sighed Tenten, climbing into the bed beside Lee._

_"Oh Lee," said Neji, climbing into the bed on Lee's other side._

_The three of them pulled the single blanket up to their noses._

_"Goodnight Tenten, goodnight Neji."_

_"Goodnight Neji, goodnight Lee."_

_"Goodnight Lee, 'night Tenten."_

_Lee suddenly sat up. He brought his hands together, his fingers intertwined. "Oh, and goodnight Gai-sensei," he said._

_"GOODNIGHT LEE!" Gai's deep mysterious voice boomed down from all sides of the room._

_And so, Neji, Tenten, and Lee drifted off to sleep, content with the knowledge that Kami - I mean, Gai-sensei, was watching over them...__**always**__._

Living room:

One of Neji's hands were covering his purple face, while Tenten's entire body was twitching violently. The remaining occupants of the room were staring at Lee, while Kakashi released an awkward, some what amused, some what disturbed, chuckle.

"Wow!" said Lee. "That was the best dream - EVER!"

_"I must disagree with you Lee,"_ Tenten said, fishing a kunai out of her weapons pouch.

Neji simply turned back to the screen, smirking slightly as he listened to Lee's occasional shrieks of pain, and watched as the next dream commenced.


	3. Part 3

**The Dream Machine**

by Bullwinkle's Lady

"Talking."

'Thinking.'

_One Screen._

In Living room.

**Part 3**

**

* * *

**

Neji simply turned back to the screen, smirking as he listened to Lee's occasional shrieks of pain, and watched as the next dream commenced.

Tape:

_The sky was blood red, as was the sea. The world was in shambles, as beggars scrambled, and the sickly scurried about Konoha, hiding in fear of their new Hokage._

_A veiled figure walked down the road, narrowed eyes darting everywhere. "I want BLOOD!" a low voice hissed._

Living room:

Everyone watched the screen in silence. Sakura sunk to the ground, covering her face as someone screamed for mercy on the television. Sasuke barely noticed as he pulled her face against his shoulder, his own wide eyes stuck on the screen.

Tape:

_"No please..." the young man begged. "My mother, she's dying. If I don't bring her this water, she'll-" he abruptly stopped when a gloved fist was shoved through his stomach. Gurgling noises emitted from his mouth, as globs of blood burst up from his throat._

Living room:

Hinata felt her fingers clutch onto someone's shirt as she hid her face in his chest. Her body cringed at the desperate screams coming from to dream, and her eyes beginning to water. When she heard the dream finally end, she slowly looked up into warm blue eyes.

"It's all right, Hinata-chan," Naruto said gently.

Blushing furiously, Hinata nodded, as she quickly pulled away from him. She embarrassedly looked away, to see that everyone was either sniffling as they wiped their eyes, or continuing to stare in shock at the blank television screen. And slowly, all eyes turned to a certain someone.

Upon noticing the stares, Neji scowled. "It - wasn't - my - dream!" he said, through gritted teeth.

Kakashi was slowly shaking his head. "Actually," he muttered. "It was...Ino's."

Twelve shocked pairs of eyes turned to the girl in question. Her face immediately turned blue. "There's - there's gotta be a mistake!" she said.

Ino was left ignored as everyone slowly edged away from her. Kakashi, quite scared, quickly shifted his eyes back to the television.

Tape:

_A small blonde six-year-old girl sat in her room playing with dolls. Beside her was a pouting pink-haired girl. The blonde girl stared at her friend for a moment, before sighing. "Alright. You can have this one," she said, handing one of her dolls over to the other girl._

_The pink-haired girl grinned happily, causing the blonde to weakly smile back. "Let be best friends forever. Ok?"_

_"Ok!" the other girl agreed._

Living room:

Everyone turned to the dark corner of the room, warm smiles on their faces.

"Nice dream Shino," Kakashi complemented. "Very sane of you."

"Short and sweet," Kiba agreed.

"It brings a tear to my eye," sniffed Sakura. "And those girls seem _so_ familiar."

"Who were they by the way?" Tenten asked.

"Uh..." said Shino. "My sisters?" he lied.

Ino slapped herself, which earned her quite a few stares from the others. "That wasn't Shino's dream! That was —"

"Be quiet, crazy girl, the next dream is starting," said Shikamaru with a smirk.

Tape:

_"You may now kiss the bride."_

_Naruto stared down at his new wife, her hands clasped tightly in his. "I love you," he mumbled softly._

_Hinata stared back up at him, her eyes watering, and her cheeks pink. "I love you too," she whispered, as Naruto leaned down, and his lips met hers._

Living room:

Hinata felt as though her face was going to explode. As all of the girls in the room gushed, bursting into tears, or releasing never ending "awwwww"s, the men in the room fidgeted uncomfortably, glancing in every direction except for the romantic scene on the television. Well, expect for Naruto, who was frozen in shock as he stared at the screen.

Hinata hid her face behind her fingers, waiting for Naruto to recoil in disgust.

But he never did.

Because he was...blushing?

Tape:

_When their kiss had ended, the couple held each other in a tight embrace, weak smiles covering both of their faces, as the enormous crowd of well wishers and family members exploded into applause._

_Naruto pulled away from his wife, playfully pinching one of her flushed cheeks. He leaned down to whisper in her ear, "I've gotta go now. I have a mission."_

_Hinata blinked. "What do you mean?" she asked, staring back at her husband. She blinked again, and he had disappeared. "N-Naruto?" Hinata quickly turned around, desperately searching. "Naruto!" Hinata's gaze fell onto the crowd, as people rose, laughing and gossiping, as they gathered themselves and prepared to leave. They took little notice of her dilemma._

_Hinata slowly dropped to her knees, the skirts of her wedding dress billowing on the ground around her. Sitting on her heals, with her face in her hands, she cried._

Living room:

"Hinata-chan?"

By the end of the dream, Hinata noticed that Naruto's hand had found hers. Biting her bottom lip, she slowly she looked up into his confused face.

And in his eyes...there was also concern.

Naruto's free hand raised to touch her cheek. "Why are you crying?" he asked her.

The heiress had barely noticed that a tear had fallen from her eyes. She closed them, before she weakly smiled, and lightly shook her head. "I'm not crying," she managed, her blush deepening.

Naruto watched her uncertainly for a moment, before he grinned and nodded. "Hai." His eyes turned back to the screen, a tiny blush tinting his own cheeks. "I think that the next one's starting."


	4. Part 4

**The Dream Machine**

by Bullwinkle's Lady

"Talking."

'Thinking.'

_One Screen._

In Living room.

**Part 4**

**

* * *

**

Naruto watched her uncertainly for a moment, before he grinned and nodded. "Hai," his eyes turned back to the screen, a tiny blush tinting his own cheeks. "I think that the next one's starting."

Tape:

_A young man jumped down from a roof top, landing crouched down so that his hands could rest against the road. The air was dark, the single source of light being the full moon in the sky._

_A black ANBU tattoo upon his felt shoulder, the man wore a hawk's mask on his face. He slowly straightened his knees as he muttered, "C'mon."_

_He was suddenly surrounded by those who had been pursuing him. Each figure of a man was an identical shadow, as a dozen of them charged at him at once._

_Long hair swishing with his movement, the ANBU captain's elbow smashed a man's nose, as his fist collided with another's stomach. In a matter of moments, he was surrounded by dead bodies, each of which he had taken down in seconds._

_With a sigh, the man pulled off his mask, to reveal a tired-eyed, weakly smirking, Hyuuga Neji. Hanging his mask from a holder on his belt, he brought his pointer fingers flat together, the remaining ones intertwined, before he disappeared into a swish of air and a poof of smoke._

_-And reappeared within the kitchen of the Hyuuga main house._

_"Ever since I killed off the head family, life couldn't be better," Neji sighed, opening the refrigerator._

Living room:

As Hinata cringed slightly, everyone else gave Neji odd looks. The Hyuuga prodigy meanwhile smirked proudly at himself on the television.

Tape:

_Neji pulled an enormous salami out of the refrigerator, sinking his teeth into it, but freezing when he heard someone address him from behind._

_"You're going to spoil your dinner, dear."_

_Unlocking his jaw from the slab of meat, Neji slowly turned around to look at his doting wife, Tenten. Beside her was his father Hizashi (who had been revived by science), and his perfect son, who was identical to himself, Neji Jr._

_"Hai, hai," muttered Neji, throwing the salami back into the refrigerator, before approaching his wife to give her a soft kiss on the forehead._

Living room:

As everyone in the room stared, twitching, from Hizashi to Neji Jr; Tenten blushed faintly, playfully punching Neji in the shoulder. Neji's eyes, however, remained on the screen.

Tape:

_Neji turned to his eight-year-old son. "How's my boy doing?" he asked._

_The child frowned, lightly biting his bottom lip. "Otousan..." he said. "I failed math."_

_Neji chuckled lightly, patting the boys head, "That's a good one," he muttered. "Because if a son of __**mine **__ever failed in any way, he would have to __**die**__," Neji continued to chuckle as he turned to his own father. "Isn't that right Dad?"_

_"You've got it, son," Hizashi responded, smiling pleasantly._

_The grown-ups took little notice to Neji Jr who had burst into tears and run out of the room. "So what's for dinner?" Neji asked Tenten._

_"The same thing we have every night," said Tenten. "Ice cream!"_

_"Yay!"_

Living room:

Neji continued to receive many odd looks (none of which he noticed) when his dream had ended to him, Tenten, and Hizashi scarfing down globs of chocolate ice cream.

Lee was horror-struck. "Wait Neji..." he said slowly. "Where was **I **in your dream!"

Lee was left sadly ignored.

With his foot, Naruto managed to nudge Sasuke in the shoulder. On the ground, the Uchiha sent a glare up to him, taking little mind to Sakura, who was resting her head on his other shoulder.

Resisting the urge to tease him, Naruto felt the need to hiss, "That was _twisted,_" he twirled one of his pointer fingers around his right ear, with the other one pointing at Neji, in a 'He-is-PSYCHO' type gesture.

Sasuke glanced away. "Hai..." he said uncertainly, feeling that Neji's dream had been perfectly rational. Bits and pieces of his _own_ dream were beginning to slowly come back to him. He bit the inside of his cheek as he wondered how violently the others would react.

Looking at Neji for just a moment longer, Tenten sighed, as she turned back to the television screen. 'That was...nice?' she thought, unsure of whether she was supposed to feel flattered or offended being dream-Neji's wife. With a small frown, she watched as the next dream began.

Tape:

_"Good job today Neji," Tenten mentioned as she gathered up her kunai. "You didn't miss even one! ...As usual," she frowned slightly._

_"Of course," Neji responded, in his usual blunt tone. His back was turned on Tenten, and he had taken out a small mirror to fix his hair. Still not giving the kunoichi a glance, he stuffed the mirror back into his shuriken pouch, momentarily rolled his shoulders, and began to walk away. "Meet me here tomorrow at dawn," the Hyuuga mentioned over his shoulder._

_Tenten frowned. Wait...where had she gotten that axe?_

Living room:

Everyone in the room jumped. Kiba again fell off of the ceiling, and Lee hopped into a stunned Neji's arms. They stared in shock at Tenten, who's dream self had just stuck the blade of the axe into dream-Neji's back.

"Woah," breathed Neji.

Tape:

_Neji squawked (yes, squawked) in pain as he fell on his face, his butt sticking in the air. With the axe still in his back, Neji's eyes began to water. "T-Tenten?" he stammered, unable to move._

Living room:

As everyone else stared in horror, Sasuke had accidentally burst into sadistic laughter, which earned him a few stares. He quickly stopped, before glancing away, and attempting to look indifferent.

In his lonely corner, Shino was violently twitching as he also tried not to chuckle.

Neji meanwhile, had turned blue, his eyes wide, and his face shocked. Tenten had begun to edge toward the exit of the room.

Tape:

_"Pl-please stop!" Neji sputtered pathetically, releasing a high-pitched sheik when Tenten wrenched the axe out of his flesh._

_The weapons mistress had an insane look in her eyes. She kicked Neji so that he rolled over onto his back, and raised the axe a second time. "WHY - WONT - YOU - APPRECIATE - __**MEEE!**__"_

Living room:

While Sakura, Ino, and Hinata found themselves covering their eyes, Sasuke bit his tongue in an effort not to giggle, and Naruto found his eyes watering from the gorey nastiness. Lee's face had turned green (much like Neji's), and the spandex-clad man was soon running out of the room, covering his mouth, as his stomach heaved.

Tenten continued to edge toward the exit unnoticed.

Tape:

_The legless and bleeding Neji was attempting to crawl away with his arms, when he heard an angry sheik coming from behind. He released a fearful scream, right before the blade of a certain axe came down on his skull. Hyuuga brains splattered everywhere._

_Blackness._

Living room:

All was silent.

Tenten had frozen near the door, her face pink, as she tried to figure out a way to explain her horrible dream to the others.

Neji's face had alas become as pale as his eyes. He clutched his chest, deeply breathing, for his life had just flashed before his eyes.

And then Naruto decided to break the silence. "Awww. You guys dreamed about each other."

"SHUT UP!"

"And lastly, Sasuke's dream," Kakashi quickly said, making sure not the catch _**crazy-Tenten's **_eyes.

The Uchiha shifted uncomfortably.

Tape:

_There was pink. Lots and lots of pink. And flowers. Butterflies. Sunlight. Cherry blossoms..._

Living room:

Those who had been traumatized from Tenten's dream had frozen in surprise. And slowly, very steadily, evil laughter echoed throughout the air. Naruto fell off of the couch, pounding the ground with his fists, and fearing that his chest would explode. Choji meanwhile rolled around like an enormous beach ball, before releasing an immense fart.

Even Neji seemed to have been struck out of his daze. "U-Uchiha?" he spat, feeling darkness close in on all sides, as his laughter took place of any oxygen that might have gone to his genius brain.

Sakura looked around, blinking.

...Sasuke had mysteriously disappeared.

Tape:

_The scene was soon revealed to be a garden, where Uchiha Sasuke resided, laying back in a beach chair, wearing navy swim trunks, and surrounded by-_

Living room:

The laughter abruptly stopped.

"I'll-kill-him!" many voices spat in unison.

Tape:

_Sasuke was surrounded by Sakura, Ino, Hinata, and Tenten, all of who were wearing only ity-bity-tiny-winy, too-small, string bikini's. As Tenten fanned Sasuke with an enormous leaf, Ino gave him a foot massage. Hinata meanwhile rubbed his shoulders, as Sakura took to feeding him grapes._

Living room:

Naruto, who's eyes had become red, Neji, veins popping up on either sides of his eyes, Kiba, who's eyes had turned to slits, Shino, who had taken off his sunglasses to reveal that he didn't even have eyes, Choji and Lee, who had fire in their eyes, and Shikamaru, who just looked high, ran out of the room, baring pitch forks and -cough- axes. "Kill the Uchiha!" they screeched.

The girls meanwhile simply blushed as they continued to watch Sasuke's dream; Kakashi actually grabbed the remote to turn up the volume, all while thinking, 'That kid's got promise,' he wiped a tear out of his eye.

Tape:

_"You are __**so **__handsome," said Ino._

_"I know," mentioned Sasuke._

_"So strong," Tenten swooned._

_Sasuke sighed. "I know," he repeated, a smirk growing across his face._

_"So glorious," murmured Hinata._

_"Yeah. I am," responded Sasuke._

_"I love you Sasuke," whispered Sakura._

_The Uchiha swallowed grape before looking back at her. "Me too," he muttered softly._

Living room:

When Sasuke's dream had come to a close, the remaining occupants of the room simply stared as the tape ended and the television screen went fuzzy.

Tenten blinked as she turned to the other girls. "So, do you guys wanna...go kill Uchiha?" she asked as she whipped out a weapons scroll, and headed for the exit.

Shrugging, Ino and Hinata followed crazy-Tenten to the door, pulling out their own weapons.

Kakashi watched them leave and sighed, ejecting the tape, before running off to show it to all of his friends.

And Sakura simply sat there on the ground of the living room, faintly blushing, with a weak smile plastered across her face. "Jackass," she mumbled, standing to her feet and exiting the room as she dug through her weapons pouch to find something appropriate in which to maim Sasuke.


	5. Epliogue

**The Dream Machine**

by Bullwinkle's Lady

"Talking."

'Thinking.'

_One Screen._

In Living room.

**Epilogue**

**

* * *

**

Gai, Kurenai, Asuma, and Kakashi watched as Sasuke's dream ended and the television screen went blank.

They had watched the entire tape together, sharing many exhuberant laughs, nervous chuckles, and awkward coughs.

"Well that was...nice," said Gai awkwardly. "I'd say that our students are perfectly sane..."

"Enough," added Kurenai, her voice just as uncertain as Gai's.

"Almost," mentioned Asuma, who had been puffing on five cigarettes ever since Choji's dream.

"Yeah-" Kakashi began, but froze when he heard noises on the television behind him. Blinking, he turned back to the screen, to see that another dream had begun. "What?" he muttered in confusion. "There was more?"

"Well of course," Kurenai mentioned, spotting one of her students on the screen. "We never got to see Kiba's dream."

"But I thought - the one with the dog-"

"Nah, that was Akamaru's," said Asuma, as though this was obvious.

'Kiba's?' Kakashi curiously turned to the screen.

Tape:

_Kiba sat at a large dining table as he muttered to himself. "I just want to be...one...with my best friend."_

_The dog-boy looked up as Hinata, in a shef's uniform, carried a large platter in, laden with a dead, roasted, and glazed over, Akamaru._

_"One...with...Akamaru..." Kiba muttered monotonously as Hinata set the tray down before him. He grabbed his fork, clenching it in his fist._

Living room:

In stunned silence, the jounin watched as piece by piece, Kiba ingested his pet dog.

"He's...he's eating his dog..." muttered Asuma.

"Akamaru..." whispered Kurenai.

"...disturbing..." mentioned Kakashi.

-And then they burst into laughter.

"Your student is a psychopath!" Gai mentioned, none-too-gently. He choked on popcorn through his high-pitched giggles.

"Mine?" spat Kurenai, clutching her sides. "At least my kunoichi isn't an axe-wielding murderer!"

"Stop it, stop it, you're killing me!" Asuma cried, tears running down his cheeks.

Having finally calmed himself, Kakashi pulled another tape out of his back pocket. "Did I mention that I recorded _your_ dreams as well?" he muttered breathlessly.

Everyone froze.

The End


End file.
